SEX EDUCATION -- FOR BEINGS OF A HIGHER PLANE

SEX EDUCATION -- FOR BEINGS OF A HIGHER PLANE

by Dennis Schliewe

LOVE: “An intense affectionate concernfor another person.” [American Heritage] Please note it is a concern and not a desire or need. You may a1so have a desire but that desire is not love. A need is not love. It is not about self. Love has to do with the other person. Just remember that it is “An intense affection concern for another person.”

SEX: Well, I could provide a formal definition but the simplicity is that sex is that activity necessary to procreate and keep the species alive. Most people find that it is a pleasurable activity and, of course, must beor the activity would not occur and the species would die out. Sex happens to be an excellentmeans to expresslove but it otherwise has absolutely nothing to do with love. Sex obviously exists completely devoid of love. There is solo sex, there is prostitution, there is pornography and there is casual sex and promiscuity. It is just too obvious. People collapse “love” with “sex” and it gets complicated. It isn’t complicated. Sex is sex and love is “an intense affectionate concernfor another person”.

MAN VERSUS THE ANIMAL KINGDOM: The human body is of course animal. Whether man himself as an organism is simply and only an animal is very debatable -but that debate need not be debated here. Man is distinguished from the animal kingdom by his ability to reason.

Men and animals both have impulses. These impulses can come from the body or as a response to a stimulus from the environment, etc. Regardless of the source of impulse it is obvious that people do have impulses. These can be the impulse to eat, to have sex, to run away or hide from a perceived threat, to get even with someone considered to have committed some wrong-doing, to make an angry gesture to the guy on the freeway who just cut in front of you, etc. An impulse can be just about anything!

A key difference between an animal and a higher level being is that the animal has an impulse and simply acts on it. This is stimulus-response behavior. People can be quite stimulus-response but can also rise above that level of behavior. A higher level being can have an impulse, can recognize the impulse and possible benefits or negative consequences and can decide to act or decide not to act depending on whether the action is pro-survival or not.

ANIMAL STUDIES: There are many, many animal studies that have been done and are being used to attempt to “understand” man. I was told of a talk show host, who is himself divorced, celebrating on the air the new discovery that even those animal species that we thought were monogamous have now been reported to in fact not be monogamous. His conclusion, that he was fervently attempting to convince everyone of, was that marriage is therefore contrary to man’s nature and therefore those who have divorced or are considering divorce should not feel guilty about it because it is natural to go through life with many, many sexual partners!

Well, basing a standard of conduct for human beings on the behavior of the animal kingdom is an interesting thing. What if we based all of our conduct on the standards of the animal kingdom? Would that mean that all my neighbors, and not just their dogs, would use my front lawn as a latrine? And when I’m at the beach should I urinate in a circle to mark my personal territory? And if someone else comes along and sets their beach chair within my territory should I then make like a gorilla and rip his arms out their sockets? There are even animals that eat their young! So why are we studying animals and their sex habits?

I think we need to strive for a higher standard!

STATISTICS: There are statistics that would indicate that our current standards of behavior are harmful for the individuals involved, children, the family unit and the society as a whole. The following data was gathered from government statistical reports, newspaper articles, a research paper I read and even an article in a health magazine. Feel free to do your own research if you doubt any of that which follows. The list of statistics can go on and on and on. Some of the key points are however:

· The happiest people are those who have had long, successful marriages. This doesn’t mean that all married couples are happy and all unmarried people are unhappy. It simply means that statistically people who have long, successful marriages are usually happier than those who do not. [source]

·        Those with the most satisfying sex lives are (surprise!) married couples. Singles have the least satisfying sex lives due to less frequency and less emotional satisfaction. Cohabiting couples ranked almost equal to singles in lack of emotional satisfaction and much lower than married couples. Live-in couples did rank very, very slightly higher than married couples in frequency of sex. In actual numbers live-in couples averaged less than one more “act” per month than married couples. [source]
·        The healthiest people in terms of life expectancy and freedom from disease are married people.
·        Divorced men have 21 times the rate of psychiatric hospital admissions than married men. [Source]
·        Automobile fatalities are triple for divorcees versus married persons. [Source]
·        Caucasian girls are 60 percent more likely to divorce if their parents divorced.
·        Caucasian boys are 32 percent more likely to divorce if their parents divorced.
·        The number one cause of divorce is adultery. [Source]
·        The number one cause of suicide is divorce. [Source]
·        Achild raised in a broken home is twice as likely to have a criminal record.
·        Divorce rates are now at or just exceeding 50%.
·        Teen suicide has tripled since the 60s. Source
·        Two-thirds of all teen suicides occur in broken families. Source
·        Three-fourths of all teen pregnancies involve adolescents that a mom or dad left.
·        I’m still looking for statistics to validate this point - but it would seem obvious that the more sexual partners one has the less likely one will ever achieve a happy, life-long monogamous successful marriage.

PERSONAL OBSERVATIONS: I used to watch old movies and the stories oftentimes had a plot feature of the woman plotting with her womanly charms to get the man to pop the big question and propose marriage. I observe current pre-marital relationships and I see at least a couple things wrong.

1. Couples are afraid of the marriage commitment. This is understandable with the high percentage of failed marriages they see around them. They are afraid to commit to marriage because “it might not work out”. Being afraid the marriage might not work is silly. You makeit work. It isn’t fate. A lot could be written on how to create a successful marriage, but some key points for success are actually pretty simple.

· Be sure you’re in love. You should be best friends. Be sure your partner is in love with you. This isn’t hard. Be sure you fully, fully understand the above definitions regarding “love” and “sex” and just LOOK at the relationship. Just remember that love is “An intense affection concern for another person.” By that definition, are you in fact in love? By that definition, is your partner in fact in love with you? If you are having trouble with this then you are adding complexities to the definitions. Keep it simple. Be objective.

· You have to continually create the friendship and the loving relationship. If there is love then you have no reason to fail. Physical beauty is fleeting and there is always someone who is more attractive. No matter how attractive you or your mate is, it won’t last. Physical attraction will not keep a relationship going. You have to keep the friendship and love being continually created. A simple analogy would be if you came to work every day and didn’t really do anything you would soon be out of a job! Another analogy might be if you bought a car and didn’t keep it maintained it would soon break down. A marriage is the same. You have to create it. The ability to give and receive communication is vital. If either partner is deficient in communication ability this can be remedied. Contact me for information on courses that are truly effective and get results.

· Regardless if you’re religious or not the “Golden Rule” is a concept held in common by all religions and stands up to pure logic for those who are not religious. You simply treat others as you would like others to treat you. You wouldn’t do things to another (directly or behind their back) that you wouldn’t want to have happen to you. Simple stuff really.

2. Women worsen their chances of the man overcoming his fear of commitment by playing all their cards and having nothing left to offer. By being sexually active you don’t have much left to offer. The man has someone he can go out with on dates. He has someone he can introduce as his girlfriend. He has a sexual partner. By entering into marriage he really doesn’t gain anything but a commitment and a financial obligation. The modern woman should watch some old Hollywood movies.

DEFINITION OF A GREAT LOVER: This is a quote that allmen should be shown. A famous Hollywood actor was quoted as saying, “A great lover is someone who can satisfy one woman her entire lifetime and be satisfied with one woman his entire lifetime. It is not someone who goes from woman to woman; any dog can do that.”

CONCLUSION: Whether we likethe conclusion or not, the conclusion is that monogamous sex within the confines of marriage leads to more pleasure and happiness for the individual, the family and the society as a whole. There will be those who will argue and tell of exceptions. Of course there are exceptions, but it would be a very poor gambler who would bet against such odds. So if you want to play a game where the goals are your own happiness, having a satisfying sex life, having a happy family life and the successful rearing of children then the strategy should be that strategy where the odds are the best for winning. The better odds are with the person who chooses to apply the data contained herein.